It Continues: The Fabulous Rewrite
by Skyecraft
Summary: OH GOD IT'S BACK WHY. The children of our beloved main characters are proof that the Technological Age was a huge mistake for everyone. (Especially Nicko. Don't ask.) Throw in a very apprehensive Apprentice, an odd obsession with pranking and schadenfreude, and five ridiculously comical teenagers, and you get the life of the Royal Rambles. AU from Queste. Some cussing, watch out.
1. One: whisper

**A/N: **I normally can't stand single-chapter updates. But I am way too freaking excited to finally put this up after what, four years? Damn!

So this is what you've all been waiting for! Well, probably not. If you're one of my former readers and you used to follow that really weird Wolf of Silver Dawn chick (wow, she was ridiculous. her stories were such crap. seriously, she sucked. well, she was only 11 when she wrote the original It Continues.) then you are most likely spinning around in the rolling chair you are cool enough to have and cheering loudly while sipping the caffeinated beverage of your choice. (Vanilla chai tea over here.) That or you're scanning through this because you're really freakin bored.

If you've (thankfully) never had to read through the horror that was the original It Continues (or the charmingly ridiculous Oh, Crap  that I ruined with an effing self-insert - damn you, Past-Skye) (or maybe that shitty parody I wrote that also ended up being me ranting about fandoms - seriously, Past-Skye, you are messed up in the head) then, welcome to this tiny corner of my writing! I'm a high school freshman now and I think I've improved _quite _a bit, so I sincerely hope you enjoy!

A lot of things have changed about this story. You'll notice some different character descriptions and even names. You'll find more description about just what exactly these crazy kids do. And, now that I'm actually the age of my own characters, I know how teenagers behave. We sleep 'till noon, eat a crap ton of food, burp, down some sodas, watch South Park (guilty Style shipper, shoot me now), and sleep some more. So it's gonna be more accurate now.

However, it is still obviously a rewrite. That is, up until around chapter 10 of the original story, which is when I started rushing the plot and it just got crappy.

So, here's to better writing, no self-inserts, more characterization, better description, more hilarity, and best of all, the fact that I actually got my lazy ass to pick this story up again!

Cheers!

- Skye

* * *

**whisper**

All was deathly silent.

Well, okay, it wasn't _deathly _silent. You could hear breathing.

But from who?

Suddenly two pairs of eyes blinked open; one pair was violet, the other green. A light was turned on with the flick of a switch and the owners of the eyes were revealed.

A girl stood up from an uncomfortable crouching position, and her eyes were the violet ones, flashing and full of power, inherited from her mother. She had also received her mother's deep brown hair, which fell in waves past her shoulders and was cut off choppily about half-way down her back. On her head rested a golden circlet, pressing her long bangs down over her eyes. She wore a slight frown along with a red tunic, a gold sash tying it firmly around her waist. But she wore a black hoodie over this to try and pull off the spy look.

..she wasn't pulling off the spy look.

The girl whispered, "Come on, Mi, it's just down here." There was a gentle creaking of wooden floorboards as she crept down the stairs as stealthily as she could. The light she had turned on for the stairwell slowly faded as she hopped down to the ground floor of their home.

A boy who looked to be slightly younger followed her with a bitingly sarcastic, "No, Sarah, I had no idea where the basement was, it's not like I've lived in this house my whole life or anything." She shot a disgruntled glare at him and jumped, ninja-style, into the main room.

Silence once again.

"Sarah, I can sense something," Milo whispered. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate. "Heartbeats—they're all around us." To this boy, the slight _ba-bump _of the average heartbeat was like the pounding of a bongo drum – but only when he cast a certain spell. He wasn't _that _cool.

Milo looked almost nothing like his elder sister; messy black hair smashed down with a baseball hat, the bright emerald eyes of **Magyk**, and stocky rather than shapely in appearance. But he was the smarter of the two, which he brought up at every opportunity.

Sarah, who had been named after her adoptive grandmother, rolled her eyes and called out, "Silas, Nora, Marcus, we know you're down here!"

Because yelling when you're trying to sneak out at sometime late at night makes complete sense.

Three shapes, two with green eyes and one with blue crept out from behind unknown objects in the dark.

One of them stood up, walked casually over to the wall without walking into it and flipped another switch. An overhead light turned on and the shapes were proven to be teenagers.

Nora stood taller than her younger, identical twin brothers. She had long, silky, platinum blonde hair that went down to her waist. Her brilliant blue Northern eyes reflected her heritage. A royal blue cloak draped across her shoulders, clasped with a golden "N." Aside from that, she wore a simple blue sweater and skinny jeans.

Her brothers, Marcus and Silas Jr., stood leaning on each other. When you first looked at them, you couldn't tell them apart. But when you looked at them closely...you still couldn't tell them apart.

They had curly straw-colored hair, green **Magyk** eyes like Milo, and wore matching black outfits made up of cloaks, t-shirts, and baggy jeans. They were exactly the same height.

This group of five were cousins. They were once called "the Royal Rambles" by a rather irritated ExtraOrdinary Wizard ghost when they were very little, and to her dismay and chagrin, it stuck as their official nickname.

"I'm guessing you guys are sneaking out," commented Silas. "We were just about to do the same. However," - he shot a glare at Marcus as he spoke - "we had a bit of an argument as to where we were gonna go."

"We were heading for that big new Entertainment area," replied Milo excitedly. "Do you know they have these awesome new games out that they only let people play from midnight to 4:00 in the morning? Apparently you can play Deus Ex: Human Revolution on a _50-foot-screen. _And I've heard it's super high quality."

"Damn, man, that's awesome," Marcus said in awe. "Let's go. Like, right now."

"Hold it right there."

Nora had just switched off the light and the teens were moments away from opening the small back door when a tall figure with bright green eyes appeared in front of them. "Crap," muttered Silas. "Figures tonight's the _one _night he decides to spend at home."

Their uncle and ExtraOrdinary Wizard Septimus Heap stood there. They knew it before he turned the light back on. He had the kind of stature you just couldn't ignore – it wasn't that he was super tall or anything, he was just really powerful, and everyone knew that. He was the only authority figure the kids would actually listen to. Sometimes.

"This is what, the fourth time you've tried to sneak out in..three days?" They glanced at each other and shrugged.

He sighed. "Well, since you're up, and I'm up, I suppose this is an appropriate time to announce my news." He took a long pause before saying it, just to be dramatic.

Septimus didn't have any children and didn't wish to. He had no apprentice either, but that was no surprise. Everyone knew that whoever became the ExtraOrdinary Apprentice would have to go through the Test.

The Test was basically something that the Royal Rambles had created a few years previously, mainly to keep weird and random kids from the street from trying to join their group. Not that they were stuck-up royal brats – these kids were just _weird._

Ever since Septimus had expressed interest in taking an Apprentice, Sarah had the brilliant idea to turn the Test into something completely different and take it up a notch. For the sake of everyone's sanity, I'll just say it involves various foodstuffs, Bogle Bugs, and running all over the damn countryside.

After the RRs explained it all to Septimus and described in detail what would happen to the poor, sad Apprentice, he decided for the good of all upcoming young Wizards to avoid that trainwreck for a while.

So the teens were rather surprised when Septimus declared, "I've found the next ExtraOrdinary Apprentice!"

I guess "surprised" was an understatement. Silas turned white as a sheet, gasped loudly, and began hiccuping; Marcus assumed an odd facial expression, proclaimed loudly, "This is an effed up dream!" and proceeded to punch himself repeatedly; Nora twisted her face into grotesque looks (but proceeded to start giggling at her own antics five seconds later); Milo just shouted, "What?!" and Sarah screamed, "PREPARE THE PEANUT BUTTER!"

They all turned to look at her. She glanced at each of their faces and said nonchalantly, "Oh, did I forget to tell you guys about that addition? Right, remind me to write that down."

Septimus rolled his eyes. "Alright, you guys, listen. After you scared off that one potential Apprentice, I made you guys edit your crazy Test. But I know you put more stuff in," - he glared pointedly at Sarah, who twiddled her thumbs and grinned in response - "so I'd kindly ask not to permanently damage the poor kid in any way, for example, throwing a _brick _at his face for no apparent reason."

"It was to test his reflexes," Sarah mumbled under her breath.

Their uncle cleared his throat loudly. "Anyway, he's staying in one of the hotels in town before he officially moves in, so you might run into him before the Apprentice Supper."

"Okey dokey – wait, does that mean we have to go to the dumb thing?" complained Silas. Marcus elbowed him. "Dude! Do you know how much freakin _food _is at those suppers? It's going to be _legendary._" Silas promptly shut up.

Septimus sighed. "Yes, you all are required to come. Listen, it's not gonna be that bad," he said coaxingly to the groaning Nora, Milo, and Sarah, who weren't exactly as thrilled by the whole food thing as the twins. Marcus and Silas were the only two out of the five who 1) enjoyed sports and 2) ate more than Spit Fyre. (Damn them and their fantastic metabolism!)

"He's 15, and he's kind of quiet. He's also..erm, very sarcastic, cynical, into dark humor, you know, I bet you guys are really gonna like him," he continued wryly. Milo stuck his tongue out. "Pbbbft."

Septimus clapped his hands. "Well, that's enough talk for..2:00 in the morning, god, why am I awake? Oh yeah, _teenagers._ I'm so glad I don't have kids, you guys are enough. No offense," He added with a sheepish grin. Sarah waved it off. "Don't worry, we wouldn't want ourselves as kids either."

"I'm going to go upstairs, and I'm going to watch you guys go up said stairs, and you're going to get into your beds and not come out of them until after the sun has risen," he said sternly.

"And you are not going to make a bunch of noise and you're not going to wake me up via _rubber chicken_ again. I think I'm still deaf in my right ear. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Uncle Sep," they replied gloomily in unison. He smiled. "Great! Come on now, chop chop." He ushered them upstairs.

After they got up to the fourth floor where they all slept, and where Septimus was sleeping in the guest room for the night, he stood in the hallway and watched them open their doors, walk into their rooms, and close the doors.

After the last door closed, Septimus nodded his head, satisfied, and was about to go to bed when one of the doors opened and one of the Royal Rambles stuck her head out of the door. "Hey, Uncle Sep?"

He gritted his teeth. "Yes, Sarah?"

She was grinning maniacally. "What exactly is this Apprentice's name?"

He was relieved; usually with Sarah it was something like, "Watch out for cows," or "I wouldn't feed Spit Fyre before 7:30 tomorrow."

"Well, Sarah, his name's Koren."

She repeated it soundlessly. "And what does he look like? I just wanna know so I'm not like, 'Holy crap, he's ugly!' or something when I see him."

Septimus rolled his eyes. "Well, he has kinda scraggly black hair, green eyes, obviously, um..he's pretty skinny and he's really pale. He's about six inches taller than you, a bit taller than the twins, and he always wears this black cloak of his that has a silver K embroidered on the back. I wonder who made it for him.."

"Excellent, thank you, Uncle Sep. That's very helpful." Still grinning, she ducked back inside her room and slammed the door.

Sarah had the last door on the left. After she had shut the door in a not exactly quiet fashion, she jumped on her bed and pulled out her phone. She proceeded to text Nora.

_Give it five minutes and then we're going out again._

Seconds later her phone binged with a reply.

_Lol. So, a giant 'eff you' to Uncle Sep, then?_

Sarah smirked.

_Of course, Nora, how long have you known me? Anyway, pass it on that we're gonna leave soon._

_Alright, will do._

At exactly 2:13 AM, five teenagers stood on the window balconies outside of their rooms. The wind viciously howled around them. Sarah glared up at where a long rope used to hang. "God-_dammit! _Who took down our rope?!"

Marcus and Silas shrugged simultaneously. "Maybe that lady across the street thought it was her clothes line again," suggested Nora.

Sarah stared at her. "Nora, it _was _her clothes line, I told everyone when we set it up, seriously, do you ever pay any attention to what I say?" The blonde just rolled her eyes in response. "Then why did you bother to rhetorically question who took it down?"

"Because I like shouting," Sarah replied casually.

"Oh! I think I have the solution." Milo ducked back into his room and not long later, came out with a bunch of bungee cords.

"Okay, so it's not the same as a rope, and it might not work out that well, but I don't know if we have any other options," he said hurriedly as he began to hook them together.

"I'd rather wonder how you still have those bungee cords when Mom made us get rid of them after that whole thing with the corn-rabbit-Wizard Tower incident," Sarah remarked, folding her arms.

Milo pushed his hat higher up his head. "Please, Sarah. Everyone knows I'm the smart one."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Whatever, little brother. So what's your 'brilliant plan?'" She air quoted the last two words.

He scowled at her. "I..haven't thought of one."

"Well, lucky for everyone, I just did," announced Marcus. "Milo, toss those over." His black-haired cousin complied and Marcus caught them easily.

"Okay, so here's my idea. It's relatively simple. We hook every single one of these together and wrap the hooks in duct tape so they can't fall apart."

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Sarah, clapping her hands together in exaggerated interest. Or maybe she was just being Sarah. "Go on."

He raised an eyebrow at her and continued. "After we've done that we hook one of the end cords to one of the balconies above us." Marcus jabbed his finger upwards. "And then, one of us grabs the other end and we throw him or her off of the balcony and hope he or she can hook it to one of the buildings across the street. If he or she is not able to do so, he or she will fall to the ground but it's okay – they're bungee cords, they're stretchy, he or she will be absolutely fine. We will then reel it back up and the rest of us will proceed."

The others nodded their agreement. "Sounds like a plan. Now, who's gonna jump?" Silas asked, looking at everyone.

Their eyes all settled on one person.

"_Alright, fine, I'll do it._" With a low grumble, Sarah resigned herself to be thrown off of a fourth-floor balcony.

"Excellent!" said Milo cheerfully. "I'll get the duct tape." He jumped back into his room before his sister cast her I-will-slowly-kill-you-and-make-your-loved-ones-watch-you-die glare at him.

It took them a while to finish hooking the bungee cords together and wrapping the hooks in the duct tape, and by the end of it, there was tape stuck to just about everything in the vicinity and sore spots where the teens had yanked it off of themselves.

"OW! Milo, it's stuck in my hair! Get it out!"

"Oh god, there's a piece right across that bruise I got last week! Sweet baby muffin top that's gonna hurt like hell."

"YOWCH!"

"Silas, I can't reach this last piece on my back, can you get it off?"

"Right after I get this long strip off of my pants."

"GAHH!"

"Sarah, stop moving around or I'm gonna get it in your face!"

"YEEK!"

Many painful minutes later, the RRs were tape-free and ready to carry out the plan. Marcus hoisted Silas up to one of the upper balconies and Silas wrapped the hook around a decorative hollow stone sphere.

Marcus eased him off of his shoulders and Silas almost fell off the lower balcony. "Alright, we are good to go!"

Sarah gripped tightly to the non-attached end of the long line of bungee cords. Though she would never admit it, she was actually a little bit scared.

_What if I fall? What if I fall and then I bash my head against the wall and I die? What if my head explodes? That would actually be pretty cool. No, that would suck! I'd be dead! I can't do this, my head's gonna explode and I'm gonna die in a cool way but I'm still gonna die. I'm not going to - _

"So long!" sang Nora as she shoved her younger cousin off of the balcony.

Sarah's eyes bulged open at the sudden rush of air and closeness of the cobblestone street below, and began screaming. As she screamed, she squeezed her eyes shut.

Her scream was so loud that people four streets away heard it, and nearly spilled their cups of tea all over their nightgowns. Or whatever old people did at 3:00 in the morning.

Her scream was so loud that an old man in one of the buildings nearby had a heart attack and nearly died.

Her scream was so loud that one of the night watchmen patrolling below went almost completely deaf.

This legendary scream continued for a good 20 seconds before Sarah realized she wasn't falling through empty space anymore. She was dangling. Slowly she reached out her left leg and opened one eye.

She was a foot off of the ground.

Sighing in relief, she slid down from the cord and waved up at the others, who were clutching the sides of their heads in pain.

"It's okay, guys, you can come down!"

They removed their hands from their ears and glared at her. She just shrugged and sat against the wall.

It took a while and quite a bit of shouting/screaming (though not even close to as loud as Sarah's), but eventually they were all down on the ground.

"What's our time?" asked Silas, as Nora pulled out her phone. "2:46. Not bad. We have about an hour."

"To the Entertainment Center!" Sarah proclaimed, sticking her finger into the air.

Milo, who had the better sense of direction, led everyone through the sleepy or not-so-sleepy neighborhoods and streets (it wasn't like 'the city that never sleeps,' more like, 'the small group of streets in the middle of the Castle where the people stay up until 3 and sleep 'till mid-afternoon and don't actually do anything') – you could hear kids screaming and the sounds of things exploding and the barking of dogs.

"Sheesh, uncivilized much?"

"Says _Sarah_," replied Milo with a shit-eating grin. He then had to scramble to run as fast as he could before his big sister strangled him with her outstretched hands.

The twins, laughing, chased after them, and Nora followed at a slower pace.

The Entertainment Center wasn't that far away, but they did have to head down some busy streets. Now, they weren't exactly super busy at almost 3 in the morning, but there were still some people out and about, who knows why.

The Royal Rambles weren't stupid. They were scatterbrained and occasionally illogical and took risks, but they most definitely weren't stupid.

They understood that if they were seen wandering around at night, they might get reported and sent back home.

And that Queen Jenna had instructed the local guards not to let her daughter order them around.

So they crept rather cautiously down the sides of the road, keeping to the shadows. Sarah strode in front of them, her hood shrouding her face in darkness, the long strands of her hair fluttering in the wind. She pulled the hood low on her face and reflected on how cool that must look.

Then there was a loud _thud._ Everyone whirled around to see that Marcus had fallen flat on his face; he had tripped over a rock. Growling, he hobbled to his feet, yelled dramatically, "SCREW YOU, ROCK, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT MY LIFE IS LIKE!" and kicked the stone far down the street, where it landed in a fountain with a _kabloosh._

Panting in fury, Marcus turned back to his siblings and cousins. They had very skeptical expressions on.

"Bro, you just pulled a Sarah," commented Silas. Sarah elbowed him in the ribs and he yelped.

Marcus just snickered and started flailing his arms for no apparent reason.

He hit someone.

"Hey, watch what you're doing!" came a voice, more questioning than irritated.

Marcus ceased his wild arm movements. "Sorry, dude."

And suddenly the whole group had gathered around Marcus to peer at the poor chap. He had a hood pulled across his face but they could still see the flash of his eyes. Green. And his face was young.

Sarah jumped in front of the teen and nearly knocked him backwards. "Well hey, you don't look too much older than us! What're you doing out late?"

He sighed. "If you must know, there was a fire at the hotel I was staying at, so I'm just gonna spend this night out on the street." But then he peered warily at them. "Who wants to know?"

As if she had rehearsed it hundreds of times (which she probably did), Sarah burst into a mini song and dance routine.

"_If you want to know our identity, you must promise not to question me about my heritage and sanity, this you clearly see! We are royal and we run around, from house to house, from town to town, with reputations we can't live down and pranks always abound, HEY!_"

She finished with a flourish and a very big, very white grin. The teen stood there awkwardly for a minute, just staring at her.

Slowly, he began to put it together. "Royal..run around..heritage? - oh sweet mother of god." He stepped back a bit, a shocked look in his eyes. "You're the Royal Rambles! And – you're the princess!"

They all nodded eagerly, striking poses and leaning on each other in their classic fashion. With a sudden gust of wind that tore through everyone's hair and nearly ripped Milo's baseball cap off his head, the boy's hood was blown back and his cloak flapped out behind him like a flag. There was a silver flash behind his head right before his hair was tossed and flipped around his face as well.

The boy was as dark as a raven, aside from his pale white skin. He had a narrow face and high cheekbones, his green eyes shaped like almonds and his jet-black eyebrows furrowed into a crease. He was as thin as a stick with hardly any fat or muscle mass on his slender frame.

The moon peeked out behind the clouds and the wind changed direction. The boy saw Sarah first out of the others and took in her distinctive features. His cloak flew to the left of him and the silver was visible.

Nora saw it first. "Hey, you're him! You're the new Apprentice!

The Apprentice was surprised. "How'd you know that?"

"Wow, you were described well. And by well, I mean accurate, not flattering," commented Sarah.

"I'm not sure if I should feel insulted or not," was the cautious response.

She began to walk around him. "So, you're Koren. Eeeexcellent, you'll do nicely." Her typical maniac grin had crept upon her face. Koren swiveled on the spot to follow her with his eyes. He was wary, and for good reason.

"Okay, so..you're the Royal Rambles."

"That we are!" replied Marcus cheerfully.

"I know _you're _the Princess," he said, pointing at Sarah, who just continued smirking.

She jabbed her thumb at her chest. "Princess Sarah, at your service! Or not. Probably the latter."

Koren rolled his eyes. "So, tell me, did your mother drop you when you were little, or did you do that to yourself somehow?"

"I'll ignore that."

He turned to look at the others. "So who are you guys?"

"Marcus! I'm the tough one. Also, I like food."

"Silas! Don't listen to my brother, _I'm_ the tough one. And I like food too."

"Actually, he's Silas _Junior._"

"Shut the hell up."

"Nora. I'm the only sane one. But that depends on what time of the year it is. And what we're doing."

"Milo. I'm the smart one. And apparently the only one with a_ sense of direction_."

Nora glanced at her phone. "Crap, guys, we're running out of time, we need to get to the Entertainment Center. Koren, where are you headed?"

He shrugged. "Well, like I said, there was a fire in the hotel, so I'm out here for the night."

"Well, listen, as much as I would like to watch you sit and be emotional and depressing in the cold, I would probably feel bad about it five years down the road when my conscience kicks in, so.." Sarah let out a heavy sigh. "..do you want us to take you to the Wizard Tower?"

He snorted. "No thanks. I can find it myself. I'm not going to ask for help from _you._"

Sarah narrowed her eyes and whispered under her breath, "Milo, **StormCall.**"

Milo muttered into his hand and pointed behind him.

Koren had just turned around and was ready to keep moving when a loud boom of thunder echoed across the Castle, and as they pivoted on the spot to see the massive thunderhead loom into view, lightning flashed somewhere not too far off, and rain began pouring down on their heads.

"Wow, I didn't know we were expecting storms tonight!" Sarah said loudly. "Well, that's a darn shame. Silas, can _you _tell where the Wizard Tower is?"

Silas was very confused. "Um. No?"

Sarah tutted while shaking her head. "This isn't good at all! Someone who's not used to the Castle is_ just going to get themselves lost!_" She swung her head to grin at Koren.

He was standing in the rain and glaring at her, rain dripping off of his hood onto his shoulders. "Fine," he replied through gritted teeth. "Take me to the goddamned Wizard Tower."

She clapped her hands. "That's more like it! You owe us, pretty boy. Don't forget that." He looked like he was about to explode from frustration.

Milo pointed at him. "Now, listen, bro, we're sticking our necks out for you. If we're seen close to the Wizard Tower at this time of night, our Uncle Sep will have our heads. So we're taking you there, but after you're in, we're leaving and you have to find your way around yourself."

"Thank the stars," Koren mumbled.

They headed off with Milo leading the way. Marcus and Silas were grumbling about not being able to play M-rated video games on a 50-inch screen at ungodly hours of the morning. Sarah skipped lightly in circles around Koren, whistling to herself just to piss him off. Nora strode along with her hands in her pockets and was keeping her eyes on Koren.

It took a while for them to reach the Wizard Tower, but not nearly as long as it would have taken Koren to get there by himself.

"Well, here you are!" said Sarah cheerfully, extending an arm to showcase the gigantic tower. "The Wizard Tower. Now, get your ass inside before someone sees us."

Koren grunted and swiveled around, his cloak flapping about in the wind. "Thanks, I guess. Not."

Silas and Marcus just glared at him, still irritated over the matter of their video game desires. Nora was staring at her feet. Milo was halfway between pissed and bored out of his mind. And Sarah was...Sarah. A.K.A., about six different moods at once.

"See you in my nightmares," growled Marcus. Koren turned back to face them. "And tomorrow," added Milo.

Koren rolled his eyes and was about to reply in a rather snarky fashion when he stopped. "Wait, what?"

"S-e-e y-o-u i-n m-y n-i-g-h-t-m-a-r-e-s," Marcus said slowly, spelling out the four words and over-exaggerating each letter. "How hard is that to understand?" He folded his arms across his chest.

"No, the…other thing. 'See you tomorrow?'" Koran looked questionably at Milo.

Sarah remembered first. "Oh yeah, the dumb Apprentice Supper. Mum, Dad, Uncle Sep, of course…."

"Our Mum and Dad too," continued Silas. "Oh, and a whole bunch'a ghosts. And a few more high-and-mighties. Man, if it wasn't for the food, it'd be so freaking dull."

Koran groaned loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Nora laughed dryly. "We're not looking forward to it either, dude."

Koren then spun on his heels and marched towards the tower, not looking back.

The wind buffeted and blew the RRs around, and a few of them shivered in their clothes. But Sarah stood steadfast, watching her new adversary go.

She had just decided it minutes ago for the both of them. From that point on, Sarah and Koren were to be bitter enemies. She narrowed her eyes against the wind, and an evil smirk slowly crawled across her face. Her eyes crinkled and she bared all her teeth in this vicious trademark smile.

"Hey, guys?"

"What? It's cold and I'm hungry, can we go home? Or maybe stop at a convenience store first?" whined Silas. Marcus nodded in agreement. Nora sighed loudly.

Sarah waved it off. "Maybe. Anyway. Now that we've met Koren, we need to start planning, making additions to the Test and taking stuff out of it." She turned to face them so they could clearly see her white grin in stark contrast to the black hoodie she wore and the darkness of the night.

"We are going to make this the most horrifying, deadliest, most dangerous, most _disgusting_ Test the world has ever seen," she declared, lightning breaking the sky and thunder shattering the air behind her, Mother Nature proving once again that Sarah was a force to be reckoned with.

"..Sarah, this is the _only _Test the world has ever seen," Milo pointed out, always the wet blanket. "..Or, _will see, _seeing as we haven't done it yet."

His elder sister glared at him and he threw up his hands in a defensive posture before stepping back.

"_Anyway, _before we being to plan this monster of a Test, we need to sabotage the Apprentice Supper." Her grin stretched comically wide. "We're going to publicly humiliate him. And we're going to make everyone else in the room look like an idiot as well."

She turned her eyes to the Tower, where, unbeknownst to her, Koren watched the Royal Rambles from a window.

"The only question is, _how.."_

* * *

**Catch any spelling/grammar errors? Wrong names? "I think I know what she meant to type but she totally typed the wrong thing?" Let me know and I'll edit.**

**Crit is welcome and encouraged. So is ego-stroking. Preferably both. Thanks!**


	2. Two: tiptoe

**A/N: **So this is the mother of all long chapters, and this was _after_ shortening it. (The epic conclusion to the supper will be the next update, which will be relatively short for my average chapter length. My apologies in advance.)

I'd also like to reiterate that this story's concept was created after Queste and before Syren. So some things that occurred in Syren may conflict with certain points in this story. Mainly the fact that I always liked the idea of Nicko and Snorri getting married. Seriously, they cared so much about each other. Feels everywhere, man. I was actually sad when she moved back, I was like, "NO YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE BEAUTIFUL BABIES DAMMIT._" _But alas, that's what fanfiction is for.

And holy dickfarts, so many HIMYM references in this chapter. Forgive me. That show is like my gateway drug.

It Continues, continuing on!

Cheers,

-Skye

* * *

**tiptoe**

Sarah woke up the next morning at noon with a huge yawn.

She had barely gotten out of bed when she shot straight up and screamed, "I'VE GOT IT!"

Two floors down, Queen Jenna glanced upstairs with a raised eyebrow, shook her head in exasperation, and went back to her lunch.

Sarah was three seconds from throwing open her door and running into Nora's room when she decided it would be better if she were to put some real clothes on first.

As soon as she had thrown on a blue t-shirt and jeans over her undergarments and quickly lashed her hair into a sloppy ponytail, she dashed over to Nora's room and banged on the door repeatedly.

"Nora!" Bang bang bang.

"Nora!" Bang bang bang.

"Nora!" Bang bang bang.

"Nora!" Bang bang bang.

"Nora! I have the greatest plan in the history of greatest plans! Except for the Test! Because that plan was pretty damn awesome!"

Nora opened the door with a sleepy look on her face and her hair in a mess. "Okay, what is this great plan?" she asked in a mumbling voice as she rubbed her eyes.

Sarah strode into her cousin's room and sat down on the bed, swinging her legs in excitement.

She beckoned Nora with a finger. With a sigh, Nora walked closer to her.

Sarah cast glances across the room and continued to beckon Nora closer. Nora complied with a 'It's way too early for this," look on her face.

When her face was less than an inch from Sarah's, the brunette whispered her genius plan into her cousin's ear.

Nora's face went from irritated to interested to invigorated. "That sounds..really freaking awesome."

"Doesn't it?! Now, if we want to put it into effect we need to start right away, as we have about 6 hours before the Apprentice Supper, if it starts exactly at 7:00 like Uncle Sep told me once. I don't know how I remember that. I'm going to put a plan together and then we're going to go get all the stuff we need, alright? I'll get Milo, you get the twins, we'll meet you downstairs for breakfast in 5 minutes," ordered Sarah, jabbing her finger into Nora's nose.

Nora pretended to bite Sarah's finger and agreed, "Alright."

Sarah sped out of Nora's room and headed for Milo's.

She decided that knocking was for losers, and instead kicked down the door. Milo shot up from his bed with a shout. "GAH!" He whipped his head around with panic in his eyes, but calmed down when he saw it was only his sister.

"Goddammit, Sarah, there's this thing called a doorknob, it generally works pretty well when you want to get into a room."

She ignored him. "I've got an idea for Operation Supper Sabotage, dear brother, and I'll tell you as soon as you get your ass downstairs and eat breakfast."

"And I will do just that after you get out of my room so I can get changed," he replied, yawning loudly and stretching his arms. "Scram."

Sarah scarpered off to see if Nora had woken the twins.

She walked through the open door into Marcus' room to hear loud snoring. Nora was shaking him rapidly, but he refused to wake up.

Sarah shook her head. "You're going about it all wrong, Nora. When it comes to an emergency such as this, you need to use noise as well as motion," she rattled off in an expert's tone, wagging her finger.

She pulled a whistle out of a pocket and handed it to Nora, who rolled it around in her hand while grinning wickedly.

Sarah gestured. "Proceed."

"TWEEEEEEEEEEET!"

"HOLY POPSICLE FUDGE NUGGETS IN A BASKET OF TITS!..oh, it's you guys."

Sarah and Nora raised their eyebrows in unison. "Nice use of creative cussing," Sarah remarked. "Anyway, we woke you up because I have a fantastic idea for tonight but we can't discuss it in the house, so after we eat, we're going out to prepare for said idea."

Nora stretched and said with a yawn, "Who wants to wake up Silas?" She waved the whistle around.

Marcus jumped out of bed. "I volunteer as tribute!"

One very loud "tweet" later, both boys were awake, and didn't bother to change out of their boxers and nightshirts before going downstairs.

Nicko was eating oatmeal while jabbering away to someone on his cell phone. "No, no, I want you to _cancel_ my subscription. It's not that I don't like the magazine, it's just that my wife – really? Two for the price of one? Well, let me get back to you."

He took the phone away from his ear and ended the call with a click just as the RRs sat down at the table.

"So what are you guys going to do toda -" "Sorry, Uncle Nicko, that's top secret information," replied Sarah hurriedly before any of the others could open their mouths, "that cannot be released to the general public at a given time in the next 24 hours."

He frowned. "Since when am I 'general public?'"

"General Public!" Sarah said sharply, with a brief salute. Then she almost fell over laughing.

Her brother and cousins glared at her.

"Seriously?" Silas complained. "She's _still_ doing that?"

"Oh come on, it's funny!" insisted the brunette, sitting back up in her chair. "You guys just don't appreciate a good pun."

Nora chuckled. "One day you'll find someone who'll do that with you, Sarah. But until that day, we will continue to be annoyed by it." The three boys laughed while Sarah scowled.

"Whatever. You guys can make your own food." She got up and headed towards the kitchen.

Then she remembered that Nora was the only one who knew how to cook anything beyond the skill level of toast.

"..Norrr-aaaaaaa," she whined, turning back to the rest of her gang.

Nora rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll cook breakfast."

"YAY!" cheered everyone, including Nicko.

The teens shot looks at him.

"What? I'm still hungry," he replied, pushing his now-empty bowl away from him.

"See, this is why your parents are cooler," remarked Milo. "Uncle Nicko gets up at noon, eats a bowl of oatmeal, and asks his 16-year-old daughter to make breakfast for him."

Nora sighed as she strode into the kitchen. "That's not a good thing, Milo!" she called behind her. "What do you guys want?"

"French toast!"

"Pancakes! Why do they call it French toast, anyway? What the hell is 'French?'"

"Oh, it's some country far away. I vote pancakes, but only with blueberries."

"Bacon! I don't care what everything else is, but there needs to be bacon."

"I agree with Milo and Marcus on the pancakes thing, but I could also really go for some hash browns."

This, obviously, led into a huge argument.

"Silas, you are _so _wrong! Bacon is always better than hash browns!" Milo argued, folding his arms across his chest.

"Then you have never had hash browns because they are really goddamn delicious – sorry, Dad."

"You used it in the proper context, son. Hash browns are the _best_!" Nicko slammed his fist onto the table, sending his empty bowl into the air with a clatter.

"We need someone to settle this argument! MARCUS!"

The other twin turned from a slap-fest with Sarah over pancakes with chocolate chips or pancakes with bananas and asked, "Yes?" while Sarah continued to smack his arm.

"Bacon or hash browns?" demanded Milo. "It's bacon, right?"

"Bacon," replied Marcus.

"Definitely bacon," agreed Sarah, looking up and nodding.

"HA!" yelled Milo, jumping up on his chair and jabbing his index fingers into his uncle's and cousin's noses."In your FACE!" They just scowled at him.

Nora stuck her head out of the kitchen. "Are you guys done bickering yet? I've made food."

Abandoning their previous squabbles, the four teenagers and one grown man jumped up from their chairs and dashed into the other room.

Nora had made a pile of scrambled eggs and hash browns, with a stack of pancakes on one plate and many slices of bacon on another. It was basically a free-for-all as Nora attempted to 1) get some food for herself and 2) try to keep all of the plates from breaking.

When everyone was full and satisfied (many a person had syrup covering their hands and face), the RRs trampled each other going back upstairs to get their coats, jackets, sweaters, whatever.

Sarah tugged on a hooded, fuzzy jacket. Milo pulled a turtleneck sweater over his head. (How hipster of him.) Marcus threw on his favorite hoodie, while Silas zipped up a winter coat, being one of many who hated cold weather. Nora had donned a long-sleeved shirt, and pulled a down vest over it, shaking out her hair before heading downstairs with the rest of them.

Sarah kicked the door open with a shout, and they all charged outside to stand in the 30-degree weather. All five of them looked up at the overcast sky and hoped for snow.

"Well, what's the first part of your brilliant plan?" Milo asked his big sister. She grinned.

"Okay! First we need to hit up our favorite lil' store, then we can head over to the Wizard Tower to take a food inventory from Uncle Sep. Finally, we should get some target practice in before we go. You all know why. Sound good, everyone?"

"Wait, couldn't we get the first two parts done a lot faster if we split up?" questioned Nora.

Sarah clapped her hands down sharply on her cousin's shoulders. Nora winced.

"That's a _brilliant _idea! Why didn't I think of that? Nora, you're officially the smart one of the group. Vote?"

Marcus and Silas raised their hands. Milo frowned and snapped, "Objection!"

Sarah booped him in the nose. "Overruled by majority vote! Nora's the smart one, court adjourned."

Yes, this was a common occurrence.

Milo grumbled to himself as Sarah got back to the previous discussion.

"Okay, so one group will go take a food inventory and the other group will go pick up some items from The Rubber Chicken. How do we split?"

"What are our options?" asked Marcus.

"Boys and girls, age mark, siblings, clothing category, hair color, whichever option sounds more fun."

"Well, we went with siblings the other day with the Ice Tunnel Sled Racing Tournament, so I think we should try boys and girls," Nora commented.

Sarah nodded. "Sounds good. Majority vote?"

Because who doesn't love a good old-fashioned democracy?

Marcus, Milo, and Silas all raised their hands.

"Awesome, let's do this. Nora and I will go get the items, are you guys okay with taking food inventory?"

"More than okay!" declared Silas. "As long as there are samples, anyway."

Nora rolled her eyes. "Boys."

"SPLIT!" Sarah shouted, grabbing Nora's wrist and darting left down the street, as the boys strode off to the right.

_And so the girls went to the store where Sarah bought all of her fabulous pranking materials._

Nora stood in the February breeze, the loose sleeves of her shirt flapping about. Her eyes, that odd pale blue that made many turn their heads, focused intently on empty space.

She was a thinker. She enjoyed helping her cousins and brothers come up with the plans, but wasn't always that enthusiastic about carrying them out.

She was meant to be the oldest. She may not be the glue that was Sarah's constant enthusiasm, or the walls that were the twins' style of humor and boyish banter, or Milo's columns of cynicism and wit, but she was the roof. She watched them, and, in all of her big-sister-ness, she kept them safe.

They had established their boundaries, rules, and roles years ago when they began. Milo was 8, Sarah was 9, the twins were 9, and she was 10. Some were written in Sarah's spirited scrawl or in Milo's smooth cursive. But others were silent and tacit, agreed upon through glances and nods wherever they happened to be.

Nora noticed. She picked up on the small details and differences. How people reacted around others.

She saw the flame of a challenge in Sarah's eyes the previous night. Oh, how the princess loved conflict. After almost two whole years of a steady and yet precarious schedule, this was _new. _For all of them, of course.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. The door to the prank shop burst open with a clatter, and Sarah charged through, holding plastic bags in both of her hands, a wide grin on her face.

"I've got the stuff!" she said cheerfully, shoving the bags at her older cousin. "Here, take a look."

Nora opened the bag in her left hand. A smile lit up her face, sly and eager. "Oh, yeah, this is gonna work out _great_."

Sarah snickered. "Check the other one."

Nora peered into it and clapped her hands excitedly. "Dang, this is going to be fantastic!"

"Agreed!" Sarah declared, handing one bag to Nora and slinging the other over her shoulder. "Now, the boys may take a little longer. Hang on, let me call them." She went through the struggle of pulling her phone from her tight denim pocket. She pressed her fingers hard on the screen, tapping out speed dial. She brought the phone to her ear.

"Milo! Hey, what are you guys up to?"

"We got a bit sidetracked," came the tinny reply. "We're not exactly at the Wizard Tower yet, but we'll be along in a few minutes."

Nora leaned in close and said, "Don't tell me you let my brothers bully you into stopping for food."

He paused. "Not exactly, but there _was _food involved. Not in the way you think."

Both of the girls' ears were pressed close to the phone. They could hear faint shouting in the back.

"Listen, can I call you back? We have a slight spaghetti-related situation I'm going to have to talk us out of." Before either of the could reply, he hung up.

Sarah frowned at her phone, and then shrugged. "We'll just meet up with them later, I'm sure they're fine. Alright Nora, you know how you've always wanted 'girl time?'" She made quotation marks with her fingers. "Well, you've got it."

Nora pointed at her. "Wait. Are you telling me.."

Sarah nodded with a frustrated sigh. "I have nothing to do, so let's do all of the girly crap you've wanted to do for ages. Talk about our feelings, discuss hot celebrities, go clothes shopping, whatever the heck you want to do."

The blonde girl clapped her hands, delighted. "Excellent! Alright, first, we're going to the mall. Come on, let's catch a taxi!" And she ran off without a second thought.

Sarah groaned and followed, her bottom lip sticking out with a pout, bundling her jacket around her as she chased after her cousin.

_Meanwhile, down a different road.._

The twins weren't exactly the brightest crayons in the box,Milo reflected. They sauntered along, bickering as usual, Marcus ruffling his brother's hair, Silas jabbing him in the side, each small annoyance slowly escalating into an oncoming fight.

Their non-physical arguments were solved with simple, almost childish logic. They had inherited their silly grins and brash tendencies from their father. But Milo had seen their deeper sides, and he knew they were more than their outer shells.

But that didn't mean they were smart.

No, he thought with some smugness, he was definitely the smart one, no matter what Sarah said.

"Oi, Milo!" called Silas, from about 15 feet in front of him. "Come on, bro!"

Sighing, Milo shook his head lightly and trotted up to them.

"What is it?"

"We have time, don't we? Let's get some food. Hey, there's a pasta joint over there." Marcus pointed across the street, where one business in a connected plaza had a brightly-colored sign that read, "just noodles." Nope, no capital letters.

"That sounds awesome!" said Silas excitedly, his hands balling into fists. Both boys were about to charge off into the street, but Milo grabbed the backs of their shirts.

"Hold it, guys. A car's coming."

They waited for the decorative little black-and-metallic car to trundle past them before Milo released them and the trio walked across the cobblestone road.

Milo pushed the door open to the restaurant and the twins followed him, casting their heads around to pick up all of the sights and smells.

"Okay, you guys, I'm gonna take a piss. Find us a table, don't order food until I get back," Milo instructed before heading off to the loo.

The twins stood there for a few seconds.

Marcus turned to his brother. "So, you wanna sneak into the kitchens?"

"Dude, hell yeah."

One scalding-hot oven tray, three pots of spaghetti, a gallon of sauce, and four very angry cooks later, Milo walked out of the bathroom, his arms behind his head.

He strode into the main room and stopped. Standing in front of him were Marcus and Silas (covered in noodles and sauce, respectively), the four cooks, and a man in a well-pressed suit. The five adults were either yelling or glaring at the teens, or both.

Milo broke into their conversation, if it could even be called that. "Um, what happened?"

"Do you know these two?" blustered the suited man, jabbing a finger at his cousins, who backed up.

"Yeah, they're my cousins."

"Well, as of now, they are _banned _from this establishment. Do you two realize the damage you've caused? I'm not exactly sure how you managed to _blow up a microwave _in not even three minutes.."

And then Milo's phone rang, the whistling intro of a popular alternative rock song blaring from the pocket of his jeans. He whipped it out and pressed the answer call button.

"Milo! Hey, what are you guys up to?" came Sarah's voice from the other end.

"We got a bit sidetracked," he answered, glancing over at the twins, who were still being shouted at. "We're not exactly at the Wizard Tower yet, but we'll be along in a few minutes."

Milo heard Nora, then. "Don't tell me you let my brothers bully you into stopping for food."

He snorted. "Not exactly, but there _was _food involved. Not in the way you think." Well, at least it would make a funny story later.

"Listen, can I call you back? We have a slight spaghetti-related situation I'm going to have to talk us out of," he said quickly before ending the call and shoving his phone back into his pocket.

He shoved his way between the twins. "Listen, we don't want to cause any more trouble," he said calmly, raising his hands. "Our family can pay for the damages."

"And they'd better!" Who Milo assumed was the manager sneered at the boys. "Who are your parents, anyway?"

"Nickolas Heap and Snorri Snorrelssen," replied Silas nonchalantly.

And now the manager gaped at them soundlessly. The Heap family was known for their royal connections, obviously. You don't take a baby Princess into your home and raise her without her letting you live in the Palace and help her manage the whole damn Castle. The twins exchanged grins.

"Well, since we're banned, I guess we better leave!" said Marcus cheerfully, waving goodbye and clapping his hands on the other boys' shoulders, leading them out of the restaurant.

The door swung behind them as they strode back out onto the street. Milo had slung his sweater over his shoulder and now he pulled it over his head, shaking his head of black curls and attempting to flatten some of them down, to no avail.

At least that was something the twins and Milo had in common: curly hair, and way too much of it.

"Man, we're _horrible,_" sniggered Silas, shoving his hands in his coat pockets. Marcus agreed with a grin. They attracted some stares, seeing as Silas was spattered head to toe with sauce and Marcus had spaghetti draped over his shoulders, his head, dangling over his face, attached to his jacket, and even on his shoes.

"Okay, let's just go to the Wizard Tower and get you guys cleaned up, you look like some mad demon pasta spawn."

As they headed off down the street, not making any more detours, Silas retorted, "Well, I think the sauce really brings out my eyes."

Marcus peered at his brother. "My god, it does! They look so _green._ Silas, you have never been so handsome."

Silas grinned. "Why thank you, Marcus, you're looking mighty fine as well."

"I agree! The noodles make my clothes and my skin stand out." Marcus propped his hands on his barely-existent hips and struck a diva pose. He then pretended to fend off an invisible attacker. "Ladies, ladies, please! There's enough of me to go around."

Oh, twins.

Silas and Milo doubled over laughing before hurrying the rest of the way to the Tower.

As they entered the Wizard Tower, the floor swirled and twisted to form their names, as always. However, something was different.

Milo squinted at the floor. "Wait – this looks like a different font than usual."

Marcus frowned, leaning down to inspect the words, stray noodles falling from his shoulders and hair. "Yeah, why is my name surrounded by _flowers?_" Silas snickered. "Don't laugh, _Junior_, you've got a girly font too."

"How the hell does this work, anyway?" demanded Milo, standing straight up and scratching the back of his head.

"Blame your sister," came a voice from the stairs. The boys looked up to see their uncle, clad in what he considered casual clothes for the day; a button-down purple shirt with straight-cut gray slacks, and black dress shoes on his feet.

He cast a grin their way, his hands in his pockets. "I'm pretty sure Sarah managed to reprogram it in some way. I don't know how. You'll have to ask her. Now, what are you lot up to?"

"Um, we're supposed to take food inventory. Like, what food is gonna be at the Supper tonight?"

Septimus stroked an imaginary beard (he wasn't one for facial hair, though Nicko sported a small, trimmed beard and mustache) and mused on the topic. "Well, I honestly don't know. Since Koren's the man of the hour, I let him order the food from the kitchens. You'd have to ask him."

Milo raised a finger and opened his mouth to speak, but then decided against it.

He whipped out his phone and entered in a few numbers.

The dial tone sounded twice before the person on the other end picked up.

"Gah! Milo! Thank god, I am _so_ freaking bored. Remind me to never again allow Nora to take me shopping."

"I don't even know why you'd do that in the first place. On a more urgent topic, would you say we would need to go to, erm, _extreme _lengths to get the food inventory?"

"Well, how extreme?"

"On a scale of 1 to 10? About an 8."

Silas frowned. "Pretty sure the guy hates our guts. Isn't that more like a 9?"

Milo waved a hand at his cousin to shut him up and turned back to his phone. "We have to ask Koren. You wanna come over and back us up?"

"Sorry lil' bro, you're on your own," came her gleeful reply. "Good luck!" And then a dial tone.

Milo scowled and shoved his phone back into his pocket. "Alright, men, let's do this," he growled, smashing his right fist into his left hand.

"Okay! So where is he?" Marcus asked Septimus. He shrugged.

"I honestly don't know. He crashed here last night, then got up and left this morning. He left all of his stuff, but I have no idea where he is or what he's doing."

"Hmm." The boys concentrated for a minute.

"Uncle Sep, do you have a telescope?"

_One staircase trek later.._

"I haven't used this thing in years," Septimus explained as he struggled to pull an old telescope out of a broom closet. "I'm sure it'll work, but you might have to tinker with it for a bit."

Marcus and Silas gathered it into their arms and managed to move it out on the observation deck with some direction from Milo.

"Turn left. Now right. Watch out for the – okay, good, you dodged the vase, now move forward _slowly_...alright, now just back it out onto the – _there_ you go."

The twins set the telescope down on the deck, adjusting the tripod to find the right angle.

"So will one of you please explain what you're going to do with this?" asked Septimus, standing at the sliding glass doors.

Milo grinned, bending down to look through the telescope. "We're gonna find your Apprentice. Silas, change the lens, this one's too big."

Silas went back into the rooms to get another lens, and he came back out with an assortment of them. The boys spent the next few minutes figuring out which one to use. Once they settled on the proper one, they crowded around the tiny end to scan the entirety of the Castle.

"I don't see him. Hell, I can hardly even tell if that chick down there is a redhead or a brunette. Or maybe she has black hair. I don't know!" Marcus pushed the other two aside and crammed his eye into the lens.

"Marcus, we're looking for _Koren,_" Milo pointed out. Silas sniggered.

"Well, he's a dude in dire need of a haircut, I'm going to accidentally glance at girls," Marcus retorted, stepping out of the way to give Milo a turn.

Milo frowned as he scanned the city. "Why don't we just use a **Seek** Spell?"

He heard his uncle heave a sigh. "Somehow he's been able to evade those all day. He knows some odd **Magyk**, boys. **Seek **Spells aren't going to work on him."

"This _sucks,_" Silas complained, leaning back against the sliding glass door and almost falling inside the house. He tapped the glass with his index finger. "Uncle Sep, how long have you had this deck?"

Septimus grinned. "I had it put in when you guys were little kids. You and Marcus always ran into it, I remember." Milo snorted. "I did a lot of remodeling after Marcia retired, you guys don't remember?"

"Somewhat," commented Marcus, gazing out across the Castle. "I remember that you used to not have this deck at all."

"Yeah, I had the deck done when you guys were, what, five? Must have been, because that stain" - Septimus jabbed his finger at a dark reddish-brown stain on the stone - "was Sarah's fault at her 6th birthday party."

Milo snickered. "Yeah, didn't she put some **Spell** on a bottle of Coke to made it permanently stain stuff? How the hell did she know how to do that when she was six?"

"I've given up trying to find out. Silas, any luck?" Septimus added at the twin looking through the telescope.

"No, nothing," came the reply. "I have no idea how to find him." Silas stood up with a frustrated huff.

"Why do you need to find him, anyway?" their uncle asked, a suspicious look crossing his face. "Don't tell me you're already starting that Test of yours."

"No, that can't officially start until he's your Apprentice, as detailed by Article IV, Section 3 in the Royal Ramble Rulebook," said Milo, nodding. Sarah had made them all memorize the RRR a year before, when it was completed. Of course, the book was changed and altered on a monthly basis, so the whole point was moot.

"So what is it?"

"Like Milo said, we're taking food inventory," responded Marcus, folding his arms and staring out at the already-darkening sky. "A part of a top-secret, super indepth, special plan that Sarah developed in five minutes this morning."

Septimus rolled his eyes. "I remember wondering to myself how long I would have to put up with your shenanigans..."

"With all due respect, Uncle Sep, any kid growing up in this family has turned out kind of bent," commented Silas with a grin. "And not in the gay way."

Septimus saw Milo twitch out of the corner of his eye and a slight frown fell across the man's face.

"But if it was in the gay way, I wouldn't care," yawned Marcus.

"Yeah, me either," agreed Silas.

Milo stammered out something that sounded like, "Me either" before falling into a silence. After a few painfully awkward seconds, the black-haired boy strode inside.

Septimus excused himself moments later. "You guys keep scanning. I'll be back in a minute."

He found Milo sitting on the couch, staring into the fire and shoving corn chips in his mouth. His green eyes were filled with conflict, his dark eyebrows arched.

Septimus sat down next to him. "You okay?"

Milo gave a jerky shrug and continued eating.

The wizard turned his gaze to the fire as well. "Milo, if you're -"

"I'm _not_, and it's none of your business," Milo snapped, almost tearing the bag of chips apart. He shook his head and sighed.

"Sorry, Uncle Sep. But it's not something I like to talk about."

"I understand," Septimus replied quietly. "You don't have to talk about it. I'm just wondering why that bothered you."

"It didn't _bother _me. I just feel weird when I hear that kind of stuff."

Septimus sat uncomfortably for a minute or so. "No one would care, you know."

Milo stayed silent.

"Jenna doesn't care, Beetle doesn't care, your parents are fantastic. And your aunts and uncles wouldn't care either. Milo, you..."

But the boy remained unresponsive.

The wizard stood up. "Whoever you are, Milo, you'll always be my nephew and my family," he said with finality, before heading back to the boys outside.

Milo wasn't scared. He really wasn't. He was just anxious, like the feeling of slowly walking into water without knowing the temperature. So, like the boy at the beach staring nervously into murky water, Milo waited for himself to adjust and mentally prepared for the next step.

If knowing who he was happened to be a creaky hallway, Milo was tiptoeing his way around, not peeking through cracks or listening at doorknobs, because the conversations inside were ones he did not wish to hear.

_Somewhere not too far away.._

"Okay, here's an orange. That will be one pound, sir." A tall teenager stooped over to retrieve an orange and thank an old woman before paying, and wave lightly as he tried to walk away without bumping into anything.

_It's so damn crowded here,_ he thought irritably, ducking under low-hanging signs and making sure his cloak didn't catch on anything. _I almost miss the Far Lands._

Koren was adjusting. He spoke with proper etiquette and stopped attempting to make his voice sound lower to pass off as a man. (He liked ordering ale at pubs, and he was certainly tall enough to seem the part. Not that he was an alcoholic or anything. He did like his mead a bit too much, though. He chided himself for drinking the stuff and made sure to avoid it now that he was a super-special Apprentice. Or, well, almost a super-special Apprentice.)

He was even learning to _smile_ more. Where he used to scowl and snarl, he now grinned politely and gave that kind of I-don't-actually-think-that's-funny-but-I-don't-want-to-hurt-your-feelings laughter.

Koren was too caught up in his thoughts to notice the man in front of him.

"Oof!" And he walked right into him, almost knocking him over.

"I-I'm so sorry sir!" he apologized quickly, stepping back. "Are you all right?"

"Perfectly fine!" came the cheerful reply. "My fault entirely. I wasn't looking where I was going. I have to get a new tie for tonight, I've got this big dinner to go to. I'm too caught up in what the wife might want me to wear..._haha._"

Koren looked at the man and saw two of the boys he had met the night before. Curly tawny hair, lightly tanned skin, bright green eyes, and blindingly white teeth.

"Are you one of the Heaps?" he found himself asking.

The man let out a bark of laughter. "You new here, kid? Everybody knows who I am, even the people who _don't_ know who I am." As he said this, he waved to some nearby people, who cautiously waved back. Koren stifled a snicker.

"Yeah, anyway, I'm Nickolas Heap." He offered his hand and grinned widely.

Koren shook and found his fingers practically crushed in Nicko's hand.

"_Ah. _Pleasure to meet you, sir."

Nicko fingered his small beard. "_Sir. _I like it. Keep calling me sir."

Koren wasn't sure if he liked Nicko, or if he was slightly weirded out by him. "Er, okay, sir."

"So how old are you? You're like..." Nicko made a box with his fingers. "..one of those guys where it's like, 'You could be 16, but you could also be 24.'"

Koren grinned awkwardly. "I'm, uh, 15, actually."

Nicko stared at him. "No way! Damn, they grow up fast these days! My sons are only 5'6, and they've just turned 15. This is ridiculous! You must have had a really tall dad. Or mom."

Koren shrugged. "Must have. Anyway, I need to be getting along now."

"Oh, of course, of course, I'm sorry for keeping you waiting. What's your name, kid?" Nicko cocked his head at the teenager.

"Koren. Just Koren."

"Koren? Oh, of course, Koren! Yes, Septimus has talked about you, but he never described your appearance, so I had no idea it was you. Well, I guess I'll see you tonight, then!" Nicko waved as he headed off and ran into a woman, apologizing fervently.

Koren shook his head and continued on his merry way, taking a stop by a trash can to peel his orange with his fingers and throw the peels away before setting off again.

He took a contented bite into his orange. _At least the fruit is better here. _Koren liked his fruit.

Just when he thought that the day might actually not turn out too awful, he recognized two voices in the crowd.

"Nora, I am _so bored._ Can we go find the guys?"

"I thought you didn't want to help them."

"I don't. But anything is better than shopping with you for three freaking hours straight."

"Oh, come on! I didn't _make_ you buy anything."

"When am I ever going to wear 3-inch heels? They just aren't practical, Nora. Give me a tanktop and some denim shorts, then we're good."

"Sarah, it's February."

"Okay, jeans and a coat! Whatever! You know what I'm saying."

"Sarah, we're royal. We have money. I can buy as many designer brands as I want. You are going to appreciate that."

"All I'm saying is that it's good that I'm the princess and you're not."

"Why, because in 20 years, the Castle will be covered in silly putty instead of every citizen wearing 500-pound suits?"

"...I hate you."

Koren had tried to run out of the way, tried to avoid the two girls, but thanks to his rotten luck, he ended up right in front of them.

Sarah pushed through the crowd and, while jabbering away to her cousin, smacked into Koren. "Oi, move your ass, you -"

It was then that she realized she would be doing a lot of looking up for the next few months.

"Oh," she growled. "Well, if it isn't Mr. Height Difference himself. Shouldn't you be making unhappy faces at a mirror somewhere?"

He rolled his eyes. "Clever, _Princess._ Where's your silk pillow and bonbons?"

"_Okay,_" Nora got in between the two and pushed them apart before Sarah could destroy the guy. "We're all friends here."

"_No we aren't,_" snarled the two adversaries simultaneously, glaring daggers at each other.

"Well, we're going to pretend that we are for the sake of my sanity," Nora decided quickly. "Koren, is it okay if we get food inventory from you?"

He blinked. "Excuse me?"

Sarah sighed. "Apparently you're the only person who knows what food is going to be at your fancy-schmancy supper tonight."

"Oh, right. Well, I dunno, I just kinda ordered everything," he replied with a shrug. "Except for stuff with carrots." He shuddered. "I _hate_ carrots."

"Uh-huh." Sarah had pulled out a legal pad. "What else do you hate? You know, just for future reference." She looked up at him with puppy-dog eyes.

But he just stared stonily at her. "I hate annoying girls who talk too much."

She folded her arms. "'Hate' is a strong word. How about, 'I am somewhat irritated with people who are just too damn awesome, like Sarah, because wow she is awesome.'"

"Fine. I am _very_ irritated with a teenage girl with a god complex, who thinks she rules the whole damn world just because she has royal lineage." And he crossed his arms right back at her.

"Oh, we're gonna be like that?" she hissed, her hands balling into fists. "Fine. _Let's be like that._"

He backed up and raised his own fists. "You wanna go, Heap? Wow, your last name sounds funny on its own."

"We're going the name route? Well...well, I don't even know your last name," she blustered, also backing up. "So..."

Nora smacked her forehead. "This is not going to end well," she muttered to herself, before saying in her normal voice, "Guys, if you're going to fight, let's find a nice open space for you to engage in fisticuffs like proper gentlemen, alright?"

"Fine!" both parties shouted, their eyes flaming with anger. Nora grabbed both of them by their wrists and managed to keep them from tearing each other apart, leading them to one of the many fountains in the middle of the Castle.

"Sarah, this is not a good idea," Nora whispered to her cousin, who glared at the stones beneath her feet as she walked.

"Actually, Nora, this is a _fantastic_ idea. We get to find out if he has balls, or if he's a crying little wuss," she replied, raising her voice for the last part.

"Normally I wouldn't fight a girl, but you don't seem to really count as one," Koren shot back.

She raised a bored eyebrow. "Really? You think that's gonna work on me? I _know_ I'm not much of a girl. You suck at trash-talking, pretty boy. Try harder."

He flushed slightly, color in his pale cheeks. "You're not as badass as you think you are."

"No, come on, something that's _true._" Sarah gave him a shit-eating grin.

Nora removed her hand from Koren's wrist to smack her forehead.

Thankfully, before the two could take more verbal swings at each other, they had reached a relatively empty area. Nora let go of them and scampered over to the fountain to observe. She perched on a raised section and swung her legs, zipping up her jacket all the way and wondering if there were any food carts in the immediate area.

Meanwhile, Koren and Sarah were still yelling insults.

"I bet you've never even played a prank on someone in your life!"

"Yeah, because I have better things to do than interfere in other people's lives! Like, I dunno, **Magyk** stuff. Stuff that I'm actually good at, that's _important._"

"Are you saying that pranking isn't _important?_"

"I'm saying it's ridiculous!"

Sarah drew herself up to her full height, which wasn't even close to Koren's. "Now, listen here, you -"

Suddenly there was a burst of light, and a sudden appearance of rather translucent versions of the boys.

"..rah!" came a yell. Nora hopped off of her outcropping and strode over to the squabble.

Sarah turned, a confused look on her face, to see the images become real people, real people who promptly fell face-first onto the pavement.

"Gah!" gasped Milo, staggering to his feet and dusting himself off. "I freaking _hate_ **Teleporting.** That is my least favorite thing to do."

"Well, you did a good job for your first time," Silas said cheerfully as he got to his feet, clapping his younger cousin on the shoulder.

Milo tugged Marcus up with an outstretched hand. "I still don't see why one of _you_ couldn't have done it," he commented tartly. "At least you both have done it before."

Marcus grinned. "Well, you should get some experience under your belt." Then he snickered. "Heh. _Under your belt._"

"Haha, _yeah you did. _Sexual innuendo five!" The twins slapped a high five.

Nora rolled her eyes. "Guys, that didn't even make any sense. Anyway, now that you've successfully managed to stop Koren and Sarah from tearing each other apart -"

"Oh, hey, Koren _is_ with you!" Milo turned around to see the other black-haired boy, who nodded awkwardly. "Good, that's the whole reason we **Teleported** here."

"Excellent!" Silas ran up to Koren and whipped out a pad of paper with a pen attached. "What food is going to be at your party?"

Koren sighed. "For the second time, I don't know exactly. I ordered everything that looked good."

"And he hates carrots," Sarah added. He glared at her and she glared back.

Silas paused. "Would pumpkin pie, a chocolate fountain, and whipped cream happen to be on the menu?"

"Probably, yeah."

He hit another high five with his brother before writing something down. "Right..right..good...how about anything with melted cheese? And potato salad? And soup?"

"Yes, probably, and yes."

"Awesome.." He scribbled something else. No one noticed the maniacal grin creeping across Sarah's face, probably because it was her default expression. And that no one, minus Nora and Koren, had seen how furious she was minutes ago.

"Potato chips? Whole slabs of butter? Cereal? Fried chicken? Something with eggs? Drinks with ice?"

"Yes, no, no, yes, yes, and definitely."

"Fantastic!" Silas finished his writing and tucked the pad away. "This is going to be a great dinner."

"We're all looking forward to it," added Sarah, smirking once again. She clapped her hands. "Now, come on! We have to get Koren back to the Wizard Tower and make our way back to home to get ready for this crap-fest of a dinner party." Koren glared at her and she glared back.

"_Okay!_" Milo broke in awkwardly after a few minutes. He grabbed Sarah by the arm and proceeded to drag her in the direction of the Wizard Tower. "I'm just going to keep you two separated. Marcus, Silas, help me out here."

"Right-o, Cap!" they replied cheerfully, each linking an arm with Koren's. He jumped back, startled. "Augh! What the hell are you doing?"

"Following orders!" was the happy answer, and the odd-looking party started their trek to the Wizard Tower in the midst of many an odd look.

Sarah had gone back to her ridiculous self and told Milo and the gang, "This is going to be pretty damn awesome, don't you think?"

"I agree to the fullest," was Milo's response, his hand still locked around her wrist. She tried to wriggle out. "Come on, Mi, you can let go of me."

"Actually, I feel like that would add to my list of constant worries," he deadpanned, only tightening his grip.

Koren furrowed his brow at Sarah, who had turned around to smirk devilishly at the poor, poor sod. "I don't trust you at all," he threatened, not even bothering to resist the twins' clutches.

"No one does, dude," replied Milo. Sarah glared at her brother and attempted to hit him with her free hand. He dodged it. "What? It's _true._"

* * *

**Any grammar or spelling errors? Name mix-ups? General tomfoolery when it comes to plot? Let me know!**


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